In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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