Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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