There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
