Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
