i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
