anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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