i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You smell like stripper and shame
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
