i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
