Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
