It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
