I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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