White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
