meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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