An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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