we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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