Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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