I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
