I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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