I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
bring money and cleavage
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
