Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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