Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
