Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
