Acid is not a monday night drug
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
