ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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