We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
