I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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