Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
