Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize