Cold hands, warm shart.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
