the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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