Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We are all done wearing pants today
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
