I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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