There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
