There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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