It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's never too late to be topless.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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