so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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