why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
