It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
