i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
