absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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