We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
