I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
