yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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