Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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