i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
