So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize