what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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