So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
