I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
