Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
