I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
this will be a night to untag.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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