Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
