Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
