Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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