evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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