he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
